Release…


Hi, friends.

I hope this post finds you well. In moments such as these, I am struck by the apparent inadequacy of the English language to describe the feeling with which I am presently imbued. I have felt this softening, when the world itself seems almost new, before. Up to this point, it has never been accompanied by a sense of my own soul returning. That is the only way in which I can attempt to describe this feeling.

Whilst all my other attempts at healing from the loss of Kim have underscored the transience of that which we call ‘healing’, this truly feels like a new beginning. The events themselves are not undone, but nor am I by them. That with which I had been burdened has fallen away. It is the greatest gift to be able to live again, and feel that my life is my own, and it is a gift I wish for each and every person who may read this.

When I think about how far I have come in these last few days, I am amazed. Of course, there’s a hint of fear that this may not last. (Rationally, though, I can remind myself that’s self-criticism talking.) The incredible thing about this experience is that not only has the weight of that loss dissipated completely, so too has the self-criticism I had dished out needlessly over the last few years.

Following the news of Robin Williams’ death, I found myself in much the same place that I had been before with the loss of Kim. I felt somewhat bitter, and disproportionately angry. The worst of it was, the more I reassured myself that it would pass, the less likely it seemed to become that it would. Remembering the benefit I’d gained from working with Alana Sheeren last year, I took the plunge and asked for help again.

We talked a little over Skype about what was bothering me, and a few days later, she did some work which helped me overcome the feelings I was having. There were even some feelings I didn’t realise I was harbouring. I am amazed, but not surprised, at how different I feel. If you’d like more information, please feel free to contact me, using the Contact link above. 

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

ncblogsig

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Release…

  1. catecumen says:

    I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. (*hugs*)

I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

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