I hope this post finds you well. I came back here today, and I’ve just realised it’s been nearly two months since my last post. During that time, I have finished my degree (pending results on Wednesday) and in so doing, found a new way to share the story of the friendship I had with Chris with a new audience.
My final dissertation ended up being two chapters, and an epilogue, of Following Her Lead: A Memoir of Online Friendship and Online Loss. As more time passes, it becomes easier to share the story of the friendship I had with Chris with others. Despite the pain of that loss, there was incredible joy in the fact that I knew her.
Though sharing that story has become easier, there is another story which jostles for position that I can’t share yet. Though knowing Kim provided support that I would not otherwise have had, the other side of that particular coin was that her health was so unpredictable. Our friendship was, to be honest, nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster.
However, I have found a way of dealing with that, it seems. I find myself playing ‘The View From The Mountain’ on a weekly basis at jam sessions, and it seems to help. From the early performances where I thought I might end up giving in to the emotion which threatened to overwhelm me, I now view the song as a celebration of the person that Kim was, in spite of what happened to her. Though I would not say it was easy to write, or that it is now easy to play, it is a pleasure to have a way of remembering which does not involve my first thought being in anger.
I have written before that I believe strongly in the power of sharing to heal. It is a gift to find somebody who understands what you find yourself going through to share in the journey with you.
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,