I hope this post finds you well. I’m sorry I didn’t post a round-up of the Remembering Our Online Friends event – not that there was much to round up – but I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind this year.
This is the time of year I find myself listening to more and more Glen Campbell, trying hard to remember what Kim meant to me before the tide turned. I’m sorry to say that afterwards it was a different story.
It’s been quite a journey to get to this point, and nine times out of ten, I can honestly say that I no longer hate Kim for anything she may have ‘done’, or inflicted upon those who cared about her. There are moments when that façade slips, but it’s easier now than it was.
Today would have been Kim’s 33rd birthday. Regardless of the ups and downs of the journey, there was a time when I loved her, and thought a lot of her for helping me out at what I then perceived as the most difficult time of my life. I didn’t know that there were challenges to come which would test my faith still further, and provide me with opportunities to curse Him and reaffirm my faith almost in the same moment.
Indeed, it is only now that I can appreciate the extent of the miracle it was that Kim was able to be revived on those two (three?) occasions. Can’t remember where I came across this, but it’s an interesting and thought-provoking programme, though maybe best avoided if you are reading this in the early stages of your grief journey.
It certainly redefined the way in which I thought about each of the occasions where I was exposed to information which I might have benefited from being withheld. More importantly, it frees me from the inherently accusatory nature of my thoughts surrounding such matters.
So, wherever Kim may be, I wish her a happy birthday, and thank her for the role she played in my life, however briefly. Just like a good book, some lives can never be long enough.
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,