I hope you are well. I have realised today that it is the little things that show me how far I’ve come in this journey. Past experiences with garden centre card displays were admittedly less than positive, but today, I turned a corner. It may seem like a small thing, but for me it was quite significant. It wasn’t so long ago that I would make a concerted effort to avoid anything to do with Easter displays in shops, inwardly rebelling against the Happy Easter banners that may as well have been ten feet high for the insult they were to my feelings at the time.
However, today I calmly walked over to a display of Easter cards, and spent ten minutes looking through them to find one to send to a friend. This proves to me that life goes on, in spite of Easter, and in spite of grief. Finally, nearly seven years later, I feel a peace with this time of year, and the significance of it. Just because it was a bitter time then does not mean it has to be a bitter time forever. Hope is always a precious thing, sometimes it is elusive, but that doesn’t mean we stop looking for it.
Although I know nearly seven years have passed since that day, I am still amazed that I have found this place of peace within myself, which allows me to accept the renewal aspect of Easter without dwelling on the sadness of Chris’ death. Whether I will carry this attitude forward remains to be seen, but I would hope to be able to.
In other news, I am approaching the point in writing my story where I discuss the beginnings of Navigating Cyberloss. It is an interesting process to look back and see how far I have come since the earliest days of pain and grief.
I would like to think that Chris would be proud of what I’ve accomplished, although it took unspeakable tragedy to bring it about. I suppose that’s the way things sometimes happen. If everything worthwhile was easy, nothing would really be worthwhile.
I’d also like to remind you about the Facebook event on the 5th of April, which will be a rerun of last year’s ‘Day of Remembrance for Online Friends Gone Before’. I hope you’ll come and share in the day, so that we can reach out to those who feel the grief of cyberloss without having anywhere to express it.
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,