I hope this post finds you well. I can hardly believe it’s been almost two months since I last posted here. I have spent much of that time reflecting on the early stages of this journey as part of my final undergraduate project for university. It surprises me still that looking back carries so much potential for pain and suffering, but then I rapidly remember that is why I stopped allowing myself to do it so readily.
Yes, it is fine that I want to remember, but if I can manage that in a way that limits the amount of pain I put myself through, so much the better. I have intended to write for some time about the project that I am also attempting to complete alongside my final dissertation, which will be a memorial book containing all of the conversations that I still possess that I had with Chris, and all of the images, along with my poem that was published last year.
It will mean a lot to me to have all of those documents and images in one place, in a physical form. I presently only have them in digital form and that is challenging, because I find myself wondering what would happen if I ever lost them completely. (That’s only when I really want to torture myself, though.)
In my absence from the blog I have written another fourteen songs in the twenty eight days of February, which include a song that puts the experience I had last Easter into words. I am surprised that came out now, but I look forward to being able to share it at some future point.
The second annual Remembering Online Friends Gone Before event takes place on the fifth of April, three days before the seventh anniversary of Chris’ transition. Surprisingly, I am not anxious about this anniversary, as I have proven to myself in the past that I can, and will, survive the event.
More than a day for mourning, the anniversary of Chris’ transition is a day to celebrate our friendship, and the profound influence she continues to have on me. If I’d never known her, I doubt I would have written a single song, let alone over fifty. That was just one of many blessings, though.
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,