Today, in the interests of actually writing a blog post, I’m linking up with Jana’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Five weeks out of six, there’s a prompt, but this week it’s down to us. Five minutes of free-writing ahoy. 🙂
It’s been an interesting week – I’ve somehow learned how difficult it is to write when there’s nothing in particular to say. I’d like to have written more than I did, but there just wasn’t anything new. I think in so many ways, I am moving forward. In itself, this is a blessing, but I have been so ‘used to’ writing through pain that it is difficult to know what to write when the emotional anguish isn’t there.
The other angle is that this is a temporary reprieve, but I think I create those now. I’m learning after my latest counselling sessions that that may be the case. It’s true that I want to hold on to memories at whatever cost (well, not true in the case of Kim, because I’ve somehow let that go) but I have finally realised what a horrendous cost that is. I become a person I’m not that interested in being when I’m trying to hold on to the rubbish of grief for dear life.
I’ve had a poem in progress for what seems like ages about something my counsellor said to me, but I can’t seem to get it to work. We were having a discussion on the subject of moving on, and he assured me that I have – ‘in a parallel universe, but you’re still carrying this one with you.’
The way he said that makes me smile and cringe….as if there’s something wrong with hanging on. I dearly wish there was something I could hang on to in Kim’s case, which didn’t remind me of everything that was lost.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (above)
- Link up your post.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.