Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Free Writing


Today, in the interests of actually writing a blog post, I’m linking up with Jana’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Five weeks out of six, there’s a prompt, but this week it’s down to us. Five minutes of free-writing ahoy. 🙂

SOCSunday-janasthinkingplace250

It’s been an interesting week – I’ve somehow learned how difficult it is to write when there’s nothing in particular to say. I’d like to have written more than I did, but there just wasn’t anything new. I think in so many ways, I am moving forward. In itself, this is a blessing, but I have been so ‘used to’ writing through pain that it is difficult to know what to write when the emotional anguish isn’t there.

The other angle is that this is a temporary reprieve, but I think I create those now. I’m learning after my latest counselling sessions that that may be the case. It’s true that I want to hold on to memories at whatever cost (well, not true in the case of Kim, because I’ve somehow let that go) but I have finally realised what a horrendous cost that is. I become a person I’m not that interested in being when I’m trying to hold on to the rubbish of grief for dear life.

I’ve had a poem in progress for what seems like ages about something my counsellor said to me, but I can’t seem to get it to work. We were having a discussion on the subject of moving on, and he assured me that I have – ‘in a parallel universe, but you’re still carrying this one with you.’

The way he said that makes me smile and cringe….as if there’s something wrong with hanging on. I dearly wish there was something I could hang on to in Kim’s case, which didn’t remind me of everything that was lost.

**********

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (above)
  • Link up your post.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

 

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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