Grief’s New Year rumblings

Hello, friends.

I hope this post finds you well. Here we are, with the New Year two days old. I made a couple of bold claims in an earlier post about my intention to have a blueprint of where I want to be with this grief journey. Well, it seems I can throw that out of the window.

The final month of 2012 brought a couple of unforeseen triggers that I’m still attempting to grapple with. It seems strange to me that many people talk about 2013 as a brand new start, but for those of us who are grieving, there are certain things we have to remember to bring (or drag!) with us. For me, those include the residual feelings over Kim’s passing, plus an unexpected Chris related trigger. A new year is a new start for many, and so it is for us, but we just have to remember the baggage.

It might be possible to leave it behind, but I wouldn’t want to find out. I had hoped that this year would be a year of progress, and I’m still fairly sure it will be, but perhaps not in the way I’d expected.

For me, there’s nothing Concorde-like about this grief journey. We just have to accept it and navigate it at whatever pace we feel appropriate. ‘Whatever pace we feel appropriate’ also means that we can alter that pace if we wish. Take it more slowly, perhaps. The one thing we can’t do is speed it up.

So, in this new year, with the new start I’d like to suggest that the new start includes making space for whatever feelings that may stir in your grief journey. The adage may be ‘New Year, new start’, but you’re still you. You still have to make sure you’re moving through the grief journey in a way that suits you ultimately.

Whatever resolutions you may have made, whatever lists you might have created in anticipation that they would help – it can be useful to admit that these things are fluid.

If I’ve learned anything from this journey, my main lesson has been that grieving is about being fluid. Ready to change with little warning, just accepting what is and where it takes you. You’ll get back on the path eventually – well, your path.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,


About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Grief’s New Year rumblings

  1. While a new year can always be looked upon as a new start in some areas of our lives, we can’t just drop the grieving process like a hot potato. It comes along with us until its journey ends and healing is complete. I love how you described this as “fluid” – like waves breaking upon and receding from the shore, our grief is much like this. Feelings come and go. We can’t ignore them, but must open ourselves up to what they are telling us.
    Blessings and healing to you in the new year, Casey!

    • Casey B says:

      Dear Martha,

      Thank you for your kind, thoughtful comment. I suppose the tone of this post reflects a little of my current difficulty with it. ‘Feelings come and go. We can’t ignore them, but must open ourselves up to what they are telling us.’ I appreciate the reminder.

      Thank you very much.

      Take care, and may 2013 be a blessed year for you.


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