Seizing joy wherever possible

Dear friends,

After about two weeks where I haven’t really posted much, today’s post is slightly more substantial. I hope it finds you well. Over the past few weeks, there have been moments that I’ve felt the impact of residual mess. Every so often, there is something that will nudge me back to the place I was in mentally until about two years ago. I’m loath to actually write about what’s happened, if and when it is resolved, I will explain.

So, in the midst of what felt like madness, spending time with friends has been a wonderful way to heal and find a little peace. (Or the ultimate distraction technique, take your pick.)

Although people might not always say the right thing, or know what to say in some circumstances, finding company (and in particular understanding company) seems to me to be a very important part of this healing process. Finding something to do where you can spend time with others and reflect on those memories that bring you peace and joy.

If that isn’t possible, then there’s always the possibility of some creative form of expression, from origami to drawing or painting, or even simply writing a letter.

That’s something I plan to do tomorrow, take a little time and a fresh page in my journal, and write a letter (I always intend it to be a short letter, but it is rarely less than two pages.) It has become a kind of tradition, either on Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve to write ‘to’ Chris, and it brings me a lot of peace. Although in some ways I have moved on and away from the initial pain of the loss, I still prefer to hang on to these traditions so that I can keep Chris’ memory close.

After all, as I have thought for the past few months, there are many things in my life now that would not have even happened if not for her presence in my life. Our friendship was the foundation for my unbridled creativity, and of course this blog would never have happened if I had not had the opportunity to come to know Chris, and love her as dearly as I do.

For me, yet another creative outlet is through writing songs and recording them. Luckily I’ve managed to convince one of my most vital pieces of equipment to work, so I may share one of my new compositions in the future.

What are your Christmas traditions to remember those who are no longer physically present? Please feel free to share in the comments. 

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,



About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Seizing joy wherever possible

  1. I’m sorry to hear that things aren’t going so well for you, Casey. I’m glad you’re reaching out to find support from friends and reaching within to find answers. Seize joy wherever possible – love that line!

  2. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through some challenging times. I agree, just being in the presence of others can have a healing effect, even if one’s problem isn’t being discussed. Just the positive and warmth we can receive from others can help change our perspective, at least momentarily, giving us some relief. I have to admit, during times when I feel sad or depressed, bummed out and overwhelmed, I tend to avoid people, but when I do accept a friend’s invitation for coffee or for a walk, I am always refreshed I had.

    I pray things improve and that peace springs up in your heart, flooding you with joy.

    This Christmas is the first Christmas without my grandmother, who passed away this summer. I’m not sure how we will remember her this Christmas. Maybe by reminiscing about our favorite Christmas memories that have included her. She will definitely be missed this year.

    Love and blessings,

    • Casey B says:

      Dear Jessica,

      Thank you so much for your kind comment. I also tend towards avoidance when completely overwhelmed, but as you say, things seem brighter and easier to bear when we have contact with others.

      I am sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing, but trust that you will find a way to remember her which allows all of you to find a little peace.

      Take care.

      With thanks, love and blessings,


  3. Even though as you said, you’ve moved away from the initial pain of loss, the impact of loss is for a lifetime. I’m glad you’ve found helpful creative outlets. We all need those don’t we? For me it’s my blog. As for your question, one thing I do to remember my mom is to make those holiday cookies that I posted about. It’s a very concrete way to keep a special memory of her alive at this time of year when I miss her so much. Thanks for writing. My best wishes to you for the New Year.

    • Casey B says:

      Hey, Nancy.

      Thanks for your comment. I agree- those creative outlets can be lifesavers, or at least point of view shifters. ‘A very concrete way to keep a special memory alive’- I think we’re doing alright if we can find those. I wish you peace and happiness in the New Year.

      Take care,


      On Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 4:49 PM, Navigating Cyberloss: a place to share

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