Big and small signs in cyberloss


white feather on grass

Image via http://www.freerangestock.com – taken by Geoffrey Whiteway

Hi, friends.

Anybody who’s been reading this blog for a while knows that I’m a great believer in signs. My usual two are white feathers, and rainbows. It’s not been the weather for rainbows here lately, which is good for some. 🙂

Since my experience in church last month (it feels very strange to write that) I have noticed even more white feathers around. Either somebody’s been overfeeding the local seagulls, or she wants me to know something. I’d vouch for the latter.

These signs are a great comfort. Whilst I know that I don’t necessarily need them, it’s nice to have reassurance now and then. They make me think that Chris knows about the important things that have happened since she passed away. Most of them because she passed away.

It’s true, I sometimes think about how things would be different if she had survived. I know for a fact that it is unlikely this blog would exist. Although it’s not a strong argument, at least some miniscule amount of good has come out of that experience. Having been to the darkest places I think it’s possible for me to visit, and been fortunate enough to come back…it’s good to have that hope.

I love the external signs, and I often find that when I’m listening to last.fm or conventional radio, a song will come on which will take me back to one of those moments. Most recently it was Dave Loggins’ ‘Please Come To Boston‘. It’s not a song I associated with Chris, but it was another that was almost currency between Kim and I.

It surprised me on last.fm a few days ago. I sat for a few seconds, completely stunned that the song would ambush me. Then, rather than turning it off, I turned it up. Every bone and fibre of my being told me not to, but I felt I could handle it, at least for a few moments. As usual in these situations, I was completely and utterly wrong. Luckily, it didn’t overwhelm me completely, as I’d feared it might…but it was deeply unpleasant. I haven’t attempted to listen to the song since, now I know what it’s capable of.

Anyway, now I’ve committed some of my craziness to this space, I’d like to know what you look out for, or what you consider a nudge from there, to let you know that they’re watching over you.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

blog signature - 'Casey B'

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Big and small signs in cyberloss

  1. I love that you are seeing the signs, Casey. So many people slog through life with their eyes closed to those little things which point to something far greater. Expect a miracle, and it will, eventually, appear.
    Beautiful post . . .
    Blessings!

    • Casey B says:

      Thanks, Martha.

      I am so grateful for all the beautiful words you write here. ‘Expect a miracle and it will eventually appear’. Such encouragement…whenever you write, it gives me a real boost. (Thanks for being the 600th commenter, too. 😀 )

      Take care, my friend.

      Casey

  2. I have signs of my father, I will suddenly smell his pipe tobacco smoke, even though no smoking is allowed anywhere, My friend Mikey I know is there as well, with him it is a song on the radio. It can be spooky as the song comes on, invariable I was thinking about him at the time.

  3. Christina says:

    It’s so awesome that you see signs. Martha is right – so many times we don’t take the time to look around us and notice these things.

    Thanks for linking up with the GtKY hop!

  4. t says:

    Oh Casey, it’s not “craziness,” it’s your gut. Always trust your gut. I could tell you a tale about it, but I won’t bore you with the details – just trust it, OK?

  5. I see different signs as well, but there really isn’t one thing that stands out as a sign from up above. It’s all the little things in life in general that tend to lead me to believe there is a greater power.
    (By the way, thanks for sharing your falling comment on my blog. I appreciate it.)

    • Casey B says:

      Hi, Crystal.

      Thanks for stopping by. I agree that we should look to the little things in life rather than looking for overriding signs. It’s tricky to act on that, though.

      Take care,

      Casey

  6. Lisa says:

    It is so great that you are observant and have picked up on signs like this. I’ve had a few instances were I felt like I was being told that a loved one was near or watching over me, but not many.

    Lisa
    P.S. Thanks for linking up to the GtKY blog hop! 🙂

    • Casey B says:

      These little nudges are few and far between, but that’s what makes them special. Thanks for your comment- so glad I’m not the only one. (Even if I were, I’d still appreciate them, I’m just not sure I’d recognise them for what they are. 🙂 )

      Pleasure to link up with the hop, looking forward to featured blogger status for the next one. 🙂

      Take care,

      Casey

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