Continued connections after cyberloss

Hi, friends.

The way in which we communicate with our online friends is different to the way in which we communicate with anybody else, as we are brought together by specific shared interests. Some are shared from the start, as mine and Chris’ interest in George Harrison and his music. I had to develop an interest in gardening, however, because I knew nothing. Gardening wasn’t a focal point of our conversations, but I remember that she used to mention more about that publicly on the message board. Most of our conversations were about George Harrison, or guitars, or just general music discussion.

I can have similar conversations with others, but they are obviously not the same. However, as a way of honouring Chris,  and recognising the influence she has had and continues to have on my life I have begun to seek discussion groups and situations where I can have these similar conversations. It is of course important that those situations are not triggers, but I’ve been lucky so far. It could be that with the passage of time, they have become easier to handle anyway, but I’m not certain.

It can be difficult for those who make the choice to return to a community after a member’s passing, knowing that there will be developments in that community that they will not see, but our enjoyment of those developments is a way of honouring them.

Forgive me, but this is where my mind wanders these days. So, I’m wondering whether we can have a conversation in the comments about that – do you have any shared interests with departed online friends that you can carry on with others? Please feel free to leave a comment and share your experience of continuing those interests, or returning to online communities.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

blog signature - 'Casey B'

About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Grief Loss and Bereavement and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Continued connections after cyberloss

  1. Yes, I carry on conversations with others who loved Rachel. We dedicate ourselves to continuing the work of bringing awareness to metastatic breast cancer issues. Rachel had a huge hand in that. By continuing this work, we remember and honor her. This is so important and another way to keep her with us in spirit.

    • Casey B says:

      Remembering and honouring- that sums it all up. We remember and honour, because we have been lucky enough to have known and loved. The work to which you and others dedicate yourselves is so very important, to hasten that eagerly awaited day when people truly understand what you are working for.



  2. Casey, I don’t have a personal experience to share, but think what you are doing to honor your friend is wonderful. Healing will come, my dear, I promise.

    • Casey B says:

      Thank you, Martha.

      I would like to think the process has already begun. I have, after all, scrambled back from where I once was and accepted God back into my life. I hope I can continue in this fashion.

      Blessings to you!


  3. Yes, we do have some things in common but couldn’t be openly discussed.

    Perhaps I could look on other more generic interests like ‘encouraging’ or ‘lifting up’ people or ‘poetry’ It isn’t my cup of tea but she used one of my artworks for her poem. Maybe this could be more classified into love of art…

    • Casey B says:

      Encouraging others and lifting them up is part of human nature, my friend. 🙂 It’s a beautiful way to honour those who’ve passed on, and those who are still here. You will find your way. 🙂

      Take care,


  4. t says:

    One of my “online friends” (email) died several years ago, and I still find myself abruptly thinking of him, and the young son he left behind. A hole. A hole is what he left, and I may never understand why..

    • Casey B says:

      I know the feeling, T. It can be so difficult to accept that we may not get an answer to our ‘why’ questions. It doesn’t help that many people do not know how to respond to those of us who have lost online friends. Unintentionally, they may say things that we feel devalue our relationships with those friends we’ve lost.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting- take care,


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