Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Challenged


Today I’ve decided to take part in Stream of Consciousness Sunday again – now hosted at Jana’s Thinking Space. I don’t intend to participate every week, but this week’s prompt inspired me – write about a time when you were challenged

Five minutes of free-writing.

I have been, and continue to be, challenged by the fact that I find it difficult to forgive what happened to Kim. I still have some misguided idea that there was some kind of choice involved, but I can almost see how there wasn’t any choice at all. The issue of how I’m going to learn to come to terms with this is another challenge. I knew from the start how the situation with Kim was going to end. (I realised that only recently, but I am relieved to have done so.) It’s difficult to put into words how I feel about it exactly, which is why I have not posted as much as I ought to lately. The truth is, with Chris’ birthday coming up, I feel more inclined to celebrate that than ruminate on the experience of losing Kim. However, I know that there is still grief work to be done, and I will continue to be challenged by it until such time as I actually convince myself that I need to do it in order to emerge from the experience. It was sheer torture to hear of all the updates that would trickle back from the family, and I never felt able to say ‘I’m not sure I want to know.’ Some friend I would have been if I had…well, some friend I was, to be honest. I don’t know whether what Kim and I shared was in the same league as what I shared with Chris, because I know that Chris loved me. Knowing that Chris loved me makes the pain worth it, not sure with Kim.

SOC Sunday Rules

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post here
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Watch this space for my next post. On Tuesday, I will reveal the anniversary maṇḍala, and launch the ‘Share a memory’ page of the site.

Look forward to seeing you then,

blog signature - 'Casey B'

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
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7 Responses to Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Challenged

  1. Sometimes being challenged is hard. But often it’s necessary. I’m glad to have you joining us, even if it’s not every week! 🙂

    • Casey B says:

      Hi, Jana.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂 I agree about the necessity of challenges. Life would be boring if we weren’t challenged by things. Great prompt, by the way.

      Take care,

      Casey

  2. Jessica says:

    What a neat idea for a post…being given a topic than writing stream of consciousness style. Challenges can be our greatest teachers, yet that doesn’t take away from them being difficult. Forgiveness can be the greatest challenge of all..but I’ve found that it often does even more good for the one who forgives than the one who is forgiven.

    • Casey B says:

      Hi, Jessica.

      Thanks for dropping by. I agree with your thinking that challenges can be our greatest teachers. I’m trying to work on forgiving, although it’s particularly tricky in this case. =)

      Take care,

      Casey

  3. a.eyd says:

    Grief is always a challenge. Good luck finding ways to deal more with it.

  4. melissa says:

    I was wondering who Kim is… This is quite a challenge but you did it 🙂 Congratulations!

    • Casey B says:

      Thanks, Melissa.

      I’d argue that it’s a work in progress. Still trying to come to terms with the way that Kim passed, as she battled an eating disorder, but I’m getting there.

      Best wishes,

      Casey

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