Equilibrium in cyberloss

Hello, friends.

Thankfully, I have found my groove again after the unreleased Harrison interview set me back. I’m struggling with the design of the forthcoming page where we will be able to share memories, but I hope to launch it on Chris’ birthday (the tenth of July) as well as revealing the maṇḍala I drew in April.

During the early stages of writing the book, I have considered the future of support for those of us who have experienced the loss of a friend we only knew online. Although I admit that I may have rushed into it, I found that my experience with traditional bereavement counselling wasn’t all that helpful. The stirring of these experiences caused me to wonder whether I was really doing myself any good by talking about them week after week. However, I have pondered hypothetical ‘cyberloss support groups’ which would meet in Internet cafés and provide a space for people who have shared the experience to come together and discuss, and remember.

I think some form of non-virtual support remains necessary, although the friendship was predominantly virtual, the loss is no less real for that. The establishment of such support groups would legitimise cyberloss as an actual issue, and perhaps begin to break down the barriers around talking about it. Those of us who have had the experience are made to feel as though we should not express it in any way, which cannot be healthy. I’d really appreciate your thoughts on cyberloss support, and what needs to be in place for us to feel as though we are recognised. Please leave a comment or use the Contact form.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

blog signature - 'Casey B'

About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
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6 Responses to Equilibrium in cyberloss

  1. I find it interesting that you found traditional bereavement counseling not helpful enough. I think if you focused on what it wasn’t and what you wished it had been, you can communicate what WOULD work in the cyberloss support network.
    Looking forward to seeing your new look in July.

    • Casey B says:

      Thanks, Martha. Traditional counselling had its uses when I found that the grief over losing Chris spilled into every day life. There were a surprising number of triggers that I hadn’t anticipated in day to day life…although at first the counselling was a bit repetitive.

      Take care,


  2. Casey, it seems that people who do not share the ‘internet’ experience of developed friendships do not consider them as ‘real’. It is hard to describe to others just how ‘real’ those relationships are when they spend absolutely no time on a computer. I believe it is important to have a support system in place where you can discuss your feelings and fears within a group of others that can relate to what you are saying. That is so important for the grieving process. I look forward to seeing your book when it comes out ☺

  3. nikky44 says:

    I really know how REAL is Friendship even if it;s only on line, and it’s the only kind I have anyway

  4. melissa says:

    Thank you for giving us space to do this in your page… I feel so free talking about it with you although I couldn’t write their names…

I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

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