Research and flashbacks

Hi, friends.

I’m sorry for my silence here- I’ve written a lot, but have sadly neglected this space. Last night I began to do some research for the book, which involved checking a couple of dates. I thought I’d prepared myself for the task, but when I took the book down from the shelf, it became obvious that I hadn’t. Finding both old diary entries from when Chris was still alive and correspondence that I’d kept folded within the pages was a painful experience. I was lucky in some ways – it didn’t take me right back to that day, but encountering entries from the days when I anxiously awaited news caused physical pain. Luckily, I managed to work out the date I needed, and was able to continue working on the project. It’s remarkable to me that even five years on, something as everyday as looking through old diaries can trigger and take me back.

Are there triggers in your everyday life? What do you do to deal with them? Please feel free to share in the comments. 

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in Chris, Grief Loss and Bereavement, memories, online friendship, original-stuff, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Research and flashbacks

  1. There are times when certain things trigger me and I spend hours thinking about the loss of my mother. She was my best friend and I have missed her dearly. I guess we all have some kind of triggers in our lives. What’s important is how we deal with them when we are confronted by them.

  2. There are certain issues that trigger me – remarks about my weight cause a lot of pain and give rise to fresh body image issues. I wish you all the strength you need to write your book, Casey.

    • Casey B says:

      I thank you Corinne. I’m going to enjoy the experience, although reliving some parts of it will be hard. I anticipate that I will come here in times of need to vent out those feelings.

      Thank you for walking with me.

      Kind regards,


  3. nikky44 says:

    Just by reading what the Blog is about, I started crying as it touches a very delicate subject for me. The only people who care about me are my online friends. They are all my life. On a day in July 2011, I had lost all hope, I felt lonely and gave up. An Admin on one of the Facebook pages I follow, has picked that despair in my comment and talked to me. A beautiful friendship has started between us, and through her, I met many others. Among my online friends, two are very sick, and I am living in panic of losing them. I wake up during the night, I check on them. I am terrified at the idea of losing any of them, I don’t know how I would survive that

    • Casey B says:


      My heart goes out to you as I read your story. Online friendships can be very precious, to some the most precious. I know how you feel with the checking on them constantly.

      Take care,


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