Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Success and cyberloss

I’m jumping in again today with Fadra’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday. This week she asks:

What is success to you and how will you know when you achieve it?

inviting participants to then write on that optional theme, or anything else that takes their fancy, for five minutes, then blog it. No proof-reading allowed, you can write an intro to the post if you must, but publish it to the blog and make it accessible. Here are my musings:


Success to me is thinking about my memories whilst being able to control them. I have many memories of Chris and Kim that I can’t even bring out into the open, because I know they would decimate me. I will know that I am successful when I no longer feel anger at the Race for Life advertisements on the television, and the process has already begun, because I can look at articles in newspapers now about the latest discoveries made within the field of breast cancer research and not feel the same anger that I have done in the past, because it obviously came way too late for Chris. Now I am pleased when I read those articles, because I know that even though Chris didn’t make it (can’t say lost the battle, because I hate that phrase) somebody else might, because of the advances that are being made every day. This is success to me, being able to articulate and reminisce without feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed by the enormity of the experience. The bonus is the fact that I am still here to tell the tale, and that is another type of success. My memories have not yet turned me into somebody who can’t even speak about these experiences for fear of waking memories which are not so pleasurable as others that have come my way in recent years. Another definition is finding hope in the midst of this experience, which is something I am slowly beginning to work out how to do. It’s not impossible anymore.


Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

blog signature

About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in blog community, coping strategies, Grief Loss and Bereavement, memories, online-loss and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Success and cyberloss

  1. Jennifer says:

    Here from ICLW – I am going to check out Stream of Consciousness Sunday – always looking for things to do with my blog. 🙂

    ICLW #22

  2. mtrothlpc says:

    Hello via ICLW. I am struck by your stream of consciousness and how solemnly hopeful you are. “It’s not impossible anymore.” <—my favorite sentence.

    ICLW #19

  3. Mali says:

    I recently posted on what “success” means in the infertility community. Success in life to me means being comfortable in my own skin. And I like your very personal definition of success. You’ll get there, and beyond, I have no doubt.

  4. St. Elsewhere says:

    Well, that’s a deep question…success for me is more measurable for material and physical goals.

    It is all that I have compromised and lost in between that affects me much too.


I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s