We’ve all heard it said that time heals. There are various schools of thought on how that happens, and still others who believe that time does not directly heal, but what you do with that time does. I’m inclined to agree with them.
For those of us who have experienced loss, however, be it the loss of an online friend or somebody we knew in our day to day lives, time has another effect. It distorts our memories, or at the very least re-orders them, so that any impression we have of events is not certain to be the exact way in which they happened.
Where possible, it can be helpful to discuss the experience with others, which will enable you to recall the sequence of events, and may also spark a few pleasant memories. It wasn’t until recently for example, that I recalled Chris’ words on the purpose of friendship.
‘We all need friends,’ she wrote, ‘to help us cope with the stones in the road.’ Or that’s what I can remember of it. Another difficulty arises for those of us who have suffered the loss of online friends when the evidence of our interactions vanishes in the mists of time or the forum archives.
Although it may be painful at first, I would advocate putting together an archive of sorts which has everything you shared with your online friend. Save emails to a folder on your email provider, or paste them into a Word document. Put any such files on disc, and keep the disc somewhere that you will remember in future. Even if you can’t look at it now, it’s always a good idea to have a record for the future, when you will be able to think back and smile.
Please feel free to share what you’ve done to remember in the comments
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,