Cyberloss, grief and the ‘complete collection’

Does anybody else feel like this, or is it just me? It could be the effects of the coming anniversary, but more and more, I’m starting to feel a sense of panic. Five years later, I’m not even sure that I would know if there was one instant messaging conversation out of nearly seventy missing, but there’s a nagging feeling, a sense of wanting to be sure that I have everything. Intellectually, I know that I do, because I remember backing everything up about a week after Francisco reported that Chris had passed away, but the feeling is still there. It’s not even rational, because I want to have this stuff, even though I can’t actually bring myself to look at any of it. I don’t know what to do about it, because there are times when I would like to remember, times when I want to reminisce, but at the same time, I know that I find myself spiralling out of control if I do so for too long, because there’s that overwhelming sense that the conversations and a few pictures are all I have. There will be nothing more, there can be nothing more. I’ll be so pleased when this Easter season is over.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

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Have you made sure that you have everything associated with your friends? Do you have any suggestions for easing this anxiety? Please feel free to share in the comments. 


About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in anniversaries, Chris, cyberloss, Grief Loss and Bereavement, online loss issues and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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