Music, Easter grief and almost crying


Tonight a computer was randomly selecting the music I would listen to – not a cyborg, but last.fm – the brilliant site for people with wide-ranging tastes and a music library full to burst. There must have been something in the air, though, because the track listing was spooky. It started with a song by a band called The Lost Trailers, which I’ve loved since I discovered it shortly after Kim’s passing- ‘The Rest of Us‘, followed by Cat Stevens’ Moonshadow:

Did it take long to find me?
I asked the faithful light

Did it take long to find me,
And are you gonna stay the night? 

As far as I can remember, I’ve not been in a situation where I’ve heard that song publicly yet- good job too, otherwise I’d probably melt into a puddle of emotion. That song symbolises my journey through this experience so far. A journey I know is not yet over, but it gives me strength to continue.

Glen Campbell’s Galveston was next, and I won’t say too much about that. I’ve only recently been able to listen to it again. (‘I am so afraid of dying/Before I dry the tears she’s crying/Before I watch your seabirds flying at Galveston.’ – need I say more?)

The last track caught me off guard completely. Badfinger’s ‘No Matter What‘ has always been a song I’ll listen to when I really miss Chris, when I want to remind myself of my personal belief system. Sounds stupid, but I think you’ll understand. I listened to it tonight and it hit me hard…sat and nearly cried. Don’t know why I can’t, to be honest. I haven’t done so in over four years. She’s on my mind even more than usual lately, and I wouldn’t mind, but I’ve felt the overwhelming feeling coming in even more, and I don’t know how much longer I can defend against it. I guess I’m just going to have to let it in and recover later.

Which songs get to you, and what do you do about it? Please feel free to share in the comments.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in anniversaries, Chris, cyberloss, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Music and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Music, Easter grief and almost crying

  1. Jessie says:

    Whiskey Lullaby came out right after someone I really looked up to in high school committed suicide while I was in grad school. It’s a gorgeously-done song, but I can NOT listen to it.

I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

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