Here’s hoping this post finds you all well. Gary Allan’s singing in my headphones as I write this, all about ‘putting memories away’. I can’t even start to think about that today. For some reason I’m stumped and stuck again. It means a lot that people keep in touch, but I’m not sure how to react. I was very touched to read that Kim’s family and friends included me in their commemoration of the anniversary two weeks ago today.
I’m still experiencing a fair amount of pain though, due to the fact that I still feel like I need space to forget, as well as remember. I don’t want to erase Kim from my life…and yet I know that there have been many occasions where the words on my lips have said and conveyed something else entirely. But I also don’t want to become mired in the feelings that I experience when I think of her. The anger is still there, even a whole year later. More than a year on, in fact. I guess I need to deal with the emails, then have a think about what to do with regard to that contact. I value it, but I don’t know whether it’s doing more harm than good at the moment. To those of you who have had experience with this sort of thing – would you recommend keeping the contact, or cutting it at the earliest opportunity? Please let me know in the comments.
Wishing you all peace and strength on your respective journeys,