Today’s been a mixed bag…I didn’t think I would end up posting, because I didn’t think I’d need to.
Yesterday was not a great day, in terms of trying to wrestle with my own thoughts and feelings about Kim. So, I thought I would take today and not think about the experiences I have had. Slight mistake, there. Saying that, it hasn’t been all bad. I was walking around a local supermarket when I bumped into a friend who taught me my first few words in Spanish. She gave me the gift of remembering Chris.
It was so special to hear her ask whether I still kept in touch with Chris’ family. I don’t know whether I’m the only one, but it does me good to feel like there’s somebody else in the world who remembers what an impact Chris had on me. It was only after my friend had bid me farewell that I realised. Today marks five years since the last time I spoke with Chris via MSN Messenger. Five years since ‘I leave now’, and that odd gut-wrenching feeling. I still remember thinking ‘OK, this means far more than I initially thought.’ I don’t know how I came to that conclusion, but I wasn’t far wrong. It took a further three months, but her leaving this world was fairly swift after that.
Mind you, I cannot continue to identify with the same harrowing, agonising memories. I must realise sooner or later that remembering the good moments is what counts.
Wishing you peace on your journeys,