False start (or four down, loads to go)


I’m making very slow progress with these damn emails. I still feel like it’s better to actually deal with them than hoard them and pretend that they don’t exist. (I know that’s a contradiction, but it refers to having them around purely for the purpose of not looking at them.) I tried to delete a few more this afternoon (and tweeted about it instead of blogging, because I didn’t think it was momentous enough for a blog post.) I think the issue is in the method, but I have to read them first to check that I’m not deleting anything important.

As it turned out, I didn’t get very far at all. Prior to deleting any more, I went to check out my deleted items, and saw the ones I’d ‘dealt with’ the previous day sitting in the folder. I had to delete them first before I could continue. Of course, you know the rest. Once I’d deleted them, I didn’t have the heart to go through any more emails, because they just open the wound further. (Being on the road to healing, or at least the road to successfully ignoring it and pretending to recover, I don’t think that’s such a great idea.)

However, I shall persevere, and I don’t know how long it will take me, but at some point I will be able to say I did it.

Hasten the day!

Wishing you all the best in your journeys,

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in coping-with-grief, flashbacks, Kim, triggers and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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