I find myself still wondering how on earth this situation came to be. I don’t know enough about anorexia, or even really enough about Kim to make any kind of intelligent guess. I’d like to know more, but all I seem to find are statistics which are alarming and make me think ‘Shit! It was really more likely than not to pan out this way?’
Painful beyond words, to be honest. I vividly remember all three occasions on which it seemed more likely that she would leave this world than stay. (Back then, I still had a faith to speak of, so a few fervent prayers seemed to reverse any divine decision.) Unfortunately it was only ever temporary – pretty soon, we’d all be on tenterhooks again, wondering when the next catastrophe would occur. None of us could’ve known it would end up this way, but it did seem more likely than not ultimately. I just can’t get my head around the unfairness of the whole darn situation. Suppose I’ll eventually come to a point where it’ll be just like every other loss thus far, accepted, but missed. She was such a fixture, receiving emails from her on the trigger dates meant more than I could ever say. Now all that’s just gone…just like that. I guess the way to get through this is to get through it – no two ways about it.
Best wishes to you in your own journeys.