To delete or not to delete- that is the question


I consider myself in a small minority of people who have a MySpace account or account on another social networking site entirely for the purpose of communicating with one person.

For me, as you can probably guess, that one person with whom I used to communicate through MySpace was Kim. Now, not only is she gone, but that account is also gone, which leads me to think that I should probably let my account go. At the same time, I don’t want to, because it feels irrational to react in that way to her passing. She goes, I delete my MySpace account. The fact is, what remains of MySpace is, in my opinion, no longer a ‘decent’ tool for promoting music, or doing anything much really. I maintained my account for the past three years with the sole purpose of keeping in touch with Kim, as it seemed to be the only place she could keep in touch with anybody after staying in hospital. Your guess is as good as mine about why that was the case, but I lived with it. In any case, it’s a non-issue now – seeing as Kim’s account is gone. I’d been ready for this for months, including the day when I took it upon myself to salvage every single comment she’d left for me – 92 of them in all, over the course of three years. Thought it would be a decent precursor to dealing with the emails – why, I don’t know. Months after doing that, I’m still slowly making my way through them. I hope I’ll reach a point where I can do it without fear at some point soon.

What about you? Have you had problems getting rid of things which you associate with the person’s digital presence? Feel free to start a conversation in the comments. 

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in grief, happenings, loss, online loss issues, online-loss, original-stuff and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to To delete or not to delete- that is the question

  1. Eyewitness says:

    Casey B, Its my first visit here. I don’t know whether I will be able to back again or not.

    So , don’t want to miss an opportunity of appreciating your blog. It’s really on a unique subject.
    I was already thinking about this very subject. I used to to be a regular reader of a blogger who used to write about how she got clean from heroin addiction and how her life was saved when she made serious attempts of suicide during the dark periods of addiction.
    I never wanted to miss a single post. And my attachment was to only the cause of her blog.

    The author used to update her blog regularly and she always replied to our comments almost on the same day because she was an online professor of psychology.

    What I want to share here is that the online friendship or relations of any type can leave deep marks on our hearts.
    One of my most favorite online writer has disappeared since a long. No new posts, no moderation of comments and no response of emails. Her last posts say that she was really depressed. I am afraid she might have committed suicide. We really can’t say anything.
    Online life: A disconnection from the net seems the end of life that too without a burial.

    Visit her blog:

    http://www.blog.melindaville.com

    Best Wishes!

    Ibn Hanif

  2. Eyewitness says:

    This domain works without www part. So the correct URL is : blog.melindaville.com

  3. Kevin McGinley says:

    I really understand your difficulty in what to do about deleting the myspace page – I still haven’t been able to delete my friend from my MSN contacts. Even though she’s not there now, I feel like it’s like a little memorial to her, another marker of the place she had in my life. A lot of the things I’ve been doing with online materials – leaving messages on sites dedicated to her, archiving messages and files and pics she sent me and others she had on her Facebook page – are really memorial rituals, and I think that these online spaces are important to us in that sense. They’re not just a means of communication – they’re more like a shared space, associated with the presence of the people we care about. So I sometimes feel a bit silly for not deleting her as a MSN contact, but I’m still in no hurry to do it. After all, knowing someone only online, we maybe don’t have that many actual mementos of them, so whatever ones we do have, even if it’s just an online page or a name in a contact list, are all the more precious.

    • Casey B says:

      Thanks, Kevin.

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I don’t think I can delete it, because then she’ll be well and truly gone. Not that either that or the existence of a headstone makes her any more dead- just somehow in my head, both of these things are huge and very much related. ‘All the more precious’…I like that.

      Nice to hear from you again- hope you’re OK,

      Casey

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