Procrastination continues

Haven't all of us griefers felt like this?

 (Image taken from

Despite progress which was made yesterday I still can’t bring myself to deal with the emails I received from her. She sent me 186 over the three years of our friendship, including some beautiful e-cards. (Wish I’d known that the e-cards would expire after 30 days, because I would have saved them.)

Dealing with the emails will be a double-edged sword, because it will bring happy memories, but there are six somewhere in the mix that pertain to her stays in hospital, you know the sort…those that are sent, or the phone call you get to let you know that the **** has hit the fan, they’re not doing well at all. There were emails sent at the start of a hospital stay, and those which let me know that she was coming home. I’ve written before of how I continually expected to receive another this time, to let me know that she was home. Now I know I won’t. Instead, there’ll be another which tells me that the headstone is in.

If I continue to dread doing this task, does it mean that there was little or nothing of a friendship between Kim and I? I know why I don’t want to do it, because I am sure that when I see ‘those’ messages, I’ll just lose it, regardless of the soundtrack I use. Until the next post, I’ll wish you all a peaceful Easter, and hope that it’s not too triggersome.

What about you? Is there something you’ve been procrastinating over during your journey that you’d like to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments. 


About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in anticipation, coping strategies, coping-with-grief, cyberloss stories, grief, happenings, loss, online-loss, triggers and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Procrastination continues

  1. Pingback: The urge to ‘do something!’ | Navigating Cyberloss

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