Today (well, officially about a quarter of an hour ago – 7.30pm BST) marks four years since Chris left this planet. I am pleased that the moment has come and gone for another year. I grieve that another year has passed since she was able to physically be a part of the lives of those whom she loved and those who love her.
For me, if anything, it was a harder anniversary than the past three, mainly because I didn’t have the support from the States that I’d become used to (come to rely on, in a sense) but I’m optimistic that next year’s anniversary will be easier somehow. Although that will mean she’s been absent for five years.
It saddens me that there was still so much more that could have been, if time had been on our side. Of course, it wasn’t to be. I’ve been thinking lately about God, about Heaven…I’m sure there’s a Heaven, but not sure there’s a gate-keeper.
Knowing there’s a Heaven makes one thing certain. When my time here’s done, I’ll see her again there, and we’ll make up for lost time. Until then, the anniversaries continue.
If there’s a deity, then may their blessing rest on her always, and if there’s not then I hope love’s enough.