This is Hell. I wasn’t sure that place existed ’til I came here again. I wish I felt something other than the pain in my chest. C.S. Lewis had it right ‘at times it feels like being mildly drunk.’
I can’t really put the damned experience into words yet, and I still long for the dam to burst. Somehow I feel that if I can somehow just come to cry it out, it will suddenly feel much easier. I don’t know how much of that is wishful thinking, though.
The only sign of progress is that I don’t feel the chest pain quite so often. That’s it. Still wish I felt something.