This is Hell. I wasn’t sure that place existed ’til I came here again. I wish I felt something other than the pain in my chest. C.S. Lewis had it right ‘at times it feels like being mildly drunk.’

I can’t really put the damned experience into words yet, and I still long for the dam to burst. Somehow I feel that if I can somehow just come to cry it out, it will suddenly feel much easier. I don’t know how much of that is wishful thinking, though.

The only sign of progress is that I don’t feel the chest pain quite so often. That’s it. Still wish I felt something.


About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in grief, happenings, loss, triggers. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Void

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Void | Navigating Cyberloss -- Topsy.com

  2. Kevin McGinley says:

    I lost a friend I knew online just a few weeks ago – she was just 18 years old – and I’ve been grieving so hard but also feeling that people must think I’m stupid. I don’t think people realise that you can form such strong bonds with someone you’ve never met. Even some comments I found online said stupid things like you don’t really know the person, and they could be completely lying about who they are, so the grief shouldn’t affect you the same. Finding your site here is a real boost. There are so few places where we can see that people understand what we’re going through. I know how you’re feeling – so many of the thoughts you’ve put down really resonate with me – and I’m so sorry for your recent loss also. But I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience on this site. Just knowing there are others out there who understand, knowing that I’m not just crazy or deluded, is a real support.

I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

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