It’s January, and I’m anticipating April…what’s up with that?


In spite of my last, considerably more hopeful, post I’m here again. The grief resolution seems to be working, as I can now think of Chris and smile if I get to a happy memory first, as it has always been.

However, recent events have somewhat threatened  my equilibrium with regard to this. Received a Happy New Year message from a dear friend, who knew Chris long before I did, where he stated that he missed her very much.

That caught me off guard, and I had to quickly remind myself that that’s his– most definitely not mine.

I’m entitled to miss Chris, he’s entitled to miss her, but when he admits missing her, it does not mean that I slip also into the missing her frame of mind. (Can be very tricky to get out of.)

In other news…

The title of this post. It is January – anybody who looks at a calendar can see that. I’m physically in the month of January, but mentally anticipating April, and part of me wishes it would hurry up. I’ve promised myself that this year will be the year I get through Easter without feeling like a zombie. (Previous years have been characterised by a total numbness, and distance from family activities, because of all that happened during that week three nearly four, years ago.)

Wish I could get April out the way from where I’m standing. Would be a lot easier to think about then.

Do you anticipate milestones months in advance? How do you deal with this?

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.
This entry was posted in anniversaries, coping strategies, grief, loss, online-loss, trigger dates and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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