‘Short bursts’ pretty much sums up the bulk of the grief-work I have done. It’s the only way in the beginning (part of me still says it’s the only way, three and a half years later.)
If you’re a stronger person than I am, then you may be able to handle more, but with online correspondence, responses and conversations are often so brief that they last for a few minutes at a time, and there come to be many of them.
(I guard the sixty-four Messenger conversations that took place between Chris and I more closely than anything, I think.) It’s so easy for victims of online loss to lose the little elements of forum posts which originally forged the relationships. (Four and a half years later, there is no evidence of my ‘banana and toffee, I think’ exchange with Chris on the official George Harrison forum.)
So, with other online correspondents, I make every effort to save conversations we have had, in case it should happen again.
I know there was an instant messaging conversation I had with Chris that I no longer have.
I think I must have felt that in keeping it I would jinx any future tests and things, because there was so much medical content in it. The bit I would give anything to have now, though, is a conversation we had about her time in England, which I have some hazy memory of, but nothing clear. In all honesty, it’s getting better, but the only thing I remember with any clarity unless prompted is the last week.
What about you? What are the things you remember about that online friend? Is there something you would like to have, but no longer possess? Feel free to leave a comment.