It may have been three and a half years for me, but I can still recall the words which heralded the ‘beginning of the end’:
With a very deep sadness I inform to all of you that Jorge, Chris’ brother, has just told me that she at the final step of her illness and we are only waiting for the end and hoping that she should stop suffering.
Those words, posted by a friend of hers in Mexico, triggered a strange reaction in me. Although I had been expecting it on and off for a few months (that’s another story for another post) I was still floored by it. They came at 9.30pm on Tuesday, 3rd April 2007. I did not read them until 11.00 that night.
Something (Someone?) prevented me from doing so. I will never know exactly what it was. All I know for sure is that it was certainly for my safety. When I read the news, I began to pace the small space between the front room door and the bookshelf…ten paces there, ten paces back, until I could convince myself to begin processing the information.
I returned to the computer, and finding no other logical thing to do, cued up some George Harrison music, as I always had done in times of need. The song I chose belied my gritty optimism. Here Comes the Sun. I sang the refrain ‘it’s all right’ like a mantra. If I could sing it, if I could believe it, maybe it would be.