Remembering…three years later


Hi, friends.

I hope this post finds you well. As ever (since 2011) at this time of year, I feel reflective and a little sad. Three years have now passed since Kim was physically on the planet. On some level, that still amazes me. During that time, I have tried and failed to keep up a journal, in any meaningful sense. The only constant, as I’ve implied many times before, has been songwriting. So, the songs tell the story of where I have been on this journey, and what I’ve learned along the way. We begin with ‘Electrocute’:

At four in the morning,
The marksman gives the warning
The word is they’re going through
They’ll lay him in the ground as the sun goes down
In the graveyard away from view

© 6-2-2011

Hardly the kind of song that might be expected in the wake of a significant loss…but it fulfilled a need to snarl at somebody. Later in that same challenge, I wrote a more heartfelt song:

Someone said it better
Than I ever could
Whatever way it ended
It ended as it should
I know that you were needed
Wherever you are now
But it doesn’t stop me thinking
About why or where or how…

© 7-2-2011

A year later, sadness gave way to a (controlled) anger:

I know the verse
I know the line
Spare me the story one more time
You’re leaving me, you won’t say goodbye
I never asked you for a reason,
But you’ve gone and left me pleading
The bravest thing you could do is tell me why

© 26-2-2012

Last year, I reflected on both sides of the coin with songs entitled ‘Another Letter’, and ‘Darkly Dreaming’:

If I wrote a thousand pages
It’d never make it right
‘Cause it only takes one line to say ‘I miss you’
And I’d just write that all night

‘Another Letter’, © 3-2-2013

You know time flows like a fountain
And every passing moment should ease the pain
Alone in the half-light of morning
I can’t help but still feel the same

‘Darkly Dreaming’ © 24-2-2013

This year, I have finally written a song that I am proud to call a tribute to Kim. The lyrics are in the description on the YouTube video. This song began as a response to recent events, and evolved into something beyond my imagination. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

ncblogsig

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5 Responses to Remembering…three years later

  1. Valerie Cox says:

    I love how you tell your story with song lyrics. So many times, the lyrics say it better than talking out aloud. I think music helps us go to a higher level of emotional expression. At least that’s usually how it works for me. As you know, I write my life in song too.

    • Casey B says:

      Thanks, Val.

      I agree…particularly on this level. I don’t think there’s any other way for the emotion to come out. My songs have brought me to a place where I can live with what happened, and not be irrationally angry on most days.

      Take care,

      Casey

  2. Colleen says:

    Casey,
    Your song is beautiful. I am so happy to see your progress in moving through your grief. This song shows your love for Kim.
    Colleen

  3. I loved how you showed us your journey with the lyrics from songs written along the way. You are a very talented songwriter. People all over the world could identify with the words your heart spoke in song. I’m so proud of you that you have been able to transcend each dark moment by looking for or at the light. Because they say 98% of what my heart feels, my favorite lyrics are:
    “If I wrote a thousand pages
    It’d never make it right
    ‘Cause it only takes one line to say ‘I miss you’
    And I’d just write that all night”

  4. oh … and, that photo you found of the Smokey Mountains is perfect

I love it when you share your thoughts- so feel free.

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