Hi, friends.
I hope this post finds you well. Traditionally (i.e. since 2010) February has been an easier month for me, due to the distraction provided by February Album Writing Month or “FAWM”. This year, I seem to be writing the album I could not have written two years ago in the midst of my fresh grief for Kim. I have a little perspective, and although it’s perhaps not the happiest music in the world, it is enjoyable to be writing again.
I love being able to play guitar, write lyrics and express myself that way. It doesn’t happen often enough in the ‘off-season’, between March and July. Although I’m trying to make it so.
More recently I have written more poetry, and that is what I intend to share today. This poem was inspired in part by trying to expedite the process of dealing with some of the emotion I have not yet processed. I put ‘Go Rest High On That Mountain’ on in the background, and rather than the reaction I expected, this poem came forth.
I continue to take small steps towards the claim I make in the closing lines, but I am more certain now that it will happen one day.
At the Edge of Sadness
I stand at the edge of sadness
Afraid to dive in, at the same time
I am afraid to walk away.
It has taken most of my strength
To turn and face this once again.
In the same moment,
I wonder what will happen.
There are two paths,
Either I walk into it,
Or run away again.
There is really only one choice.
If I run from it now,
I will not face it again
With the same resolve
And bravery born of knowing
That I do not make the step alone.
This is a different grief
The like of which I have not known
So many questions remain
I must accept what I know:
That I will not know
I cannot know another’s soul
My own reminds me that I
Have a duty to myself
To keep on the path.
The path I am on
Is unlike any other
I know only where I hope it leads
Whatever it takes, I want to forgive.
Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,
Moving forward doesn’t mean running away or ignoring our grief – it means facing it and consciously walking through it. That doesn’t make it easy. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you as always, Ellen.
‘It means facing it and consciously walking through it’. So, that’s what I’m resisting. Thank you for making that clearer to me.
Take care,
Casey
On Sun, Feb 3, 2013 at 3:49 PM, Navigating Cyberloss: a place to share your
Thank you for sharing this. May peace unfold as a garment of light warming your heart as you continue on your journey towards healing. Lots of love. <3
Dear Jessica,
Thank you so much for reading. I very much appreciate your blessing. It is a blessing indeed to have you in my life.
Take care,
Casey
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This poem is beautifully touching, Casey! Thanks for sharing your poignant thoughts with us.
Blessings!
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Thank you for this. It’s very timely for me today.
Thinking of you at this challenging time, Nancy.
Take care, and do what you need to do to get through.
Casey
On Wed, Feb 6, 2013 at 4:21 PM, Navigating Cyberloss: a place to share your
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I am still fearful of facing grief head on. I run as soon as I feel a bit of “it” begin to circulate through me.
I marvel at how well you are able to connect with your grief, right now. I’m proud of you. I’m happy for you. I envy you.
Words like these will help many hearts mend. I kind of like did a quick “loose stitch” mending. When I can mend better, I’ll be back.
My dear friend, this is all a product of coming at it sideways. I am very similar to you – I can’t connect with it head on, because it would place me squarely back where I began.
None of us need to ‘mend better’, we just need to live with the pace at which we’re healing.
Take care, dear friend.
Casey