Cyberloss, grief, memories and choices


Have you decided what to do with your memories? Even five years after Chris’ passing, I’m  still in the process of working out what to do with some of them. The experience of knowing Kim, and what she went through, as painful as it was, taught me one thing. It might be common sense, but I’d still like to share it.

We all have a choice in the way in which our memories shape how we feel about our experiences. It’s something I’ve thought about since before Kim died, actually. Back then, I was in the process of deciding what to ‘do’ with my memories of Chris…and eventually, I think I made the right decision. I carry them with pride, sharing them now and then so that people can get a sense of what kind of person Chris was, and the influence she had on me. I freely admit that with my memories of Kim, I’m nowhere near that hallowed shore. I still wrestle with those as though there’s a ball and chain holding me back.

More and more, I’m learning that letting go is a slow process. Much as I want to be able to look back fondly, I can’t just make that happen. But I can, we can all, choose to live with the memories and not fight against them. At some point, it’s a choice we have to make, before we end up chained to memories we’d rather not keep.

Wishing you peace and strength on your journeys,

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What do you want to do with your memories? Please feel free to share in the comments. 

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This entry was posted in anniversaries, Chris, coping-with-grief, cyberloss, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Kim, NaBloPoMo and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Cyberloss, grief, memories and choices

  1. Glad I could make you laugh with my neglectful posts and some of my others; oddly, II’m not most often laughing. I live in fear of grief, actually, of when I will lose my ailing mother as she has always been my muse. Keep stopping by, I do enjoy your company and comments.

  2. snagglejubs says:

    That second last paragraph, about slow process of letting go gives me hope Casey. You have a way of describing your feelings that is honest and real, without being over the top. That’s quite a gift. X Veronica

  3. Pingback: Difficult decisions and cyberloss | Navigating Cyberloss: a place to share your grief

  4. Pingback: Cyberloss and the fear of forgetting | Navigating Cyberloss: a place to share your grief

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